Hollow (Perfect Little Pieces) Read online

  “Okay,” the doctor said after a moment. “I understand.”

  Did she? I doubted that. Crowds always reminded me of what happened that night at the fraternity party, so I avoided them whenever I could. Even being in a small group like this made it difficult to keep the ghosts away.

  We were at a party. Kyle and I had gotten into a fight…

  A chilling emptiness squeezed my chest, making it a little difficult to breathe. Scenes from the accident flashed through my mind. One minute we were all talking. Kyle had tried to apologize for our latest fight, but I refused to listen. He was putting his hand on my knee and then…oh God, the blood.

  I blinked back tears and tried to fight the memories, shoving them back into the black hole from which they came. Blood, so much blood.

  “We’ll be meeting with the dogs for the next few weeks. Maybe we can work our way up to petting one of them before they’re gone.”

  Not likely. The tightening in my chest increased. It was as if icy claws were squeezing the life from my lungs. I glanced at the clock once more. Still another ninety minutes until pill time. Just my luck.

  “Dr. Polanski?” A male staff member approached, his brow creasing in worry. He wore a similar uniform to the doctor.

  “Yes, Elias?”

  “There is an issue with one of the patients…”

  “Who?”

  “Mr. Martinez. He’s being confrontational again and—you better come look…”

  Dr. Polanski closed her eyes, and I was drawn to the eye shadow collecting in the creases of her eyelids. The long, purple lines made her look ancient and tired. When the doctor opened her lids again, the sparkle in her gaze had gone.

  “We’ll continue this later, okay?” The doctor patted my knee and headed for the small crowd at the far end of the room. “Nesto, why don’t you come over here and—”

  There was some movement within the circle of patients, followed by a crash that made me jump. What happened? There were too many people. I couldn’t see anything.

  “Get out of my way.” Dr. Polanski wedged herself into the crowd. The patients immediately parted, revealing two young men staring at each other with hatred in their eyes. The tall, muscular, Latin-looking man threw a punch at an auburn-haired patient. The latter dodged the fist and began circling his opponent.

  “Don’t do this, Nesto,” the auburn-haired man said in a thick Irish accent. “You’re better than this.” The Irish patient was thinner and paler than his opponent, but something in his electric-green eyes told me he wasn’t someone to mess with.

  “Asshole.” The Latin man spat on the ground. “You know better than to take what is mine.”

  “I didn’t take anything.” The auburn-haired man took a step back.

  “That’s bullshit, Flynn, and you know it. Everyone here knows you’re a klepto. Unfortunately, you stole from the wrong guy.” He threw a punch. The auburn-haired man dodged and yanked his adversary’s low-hanging ponytail, pulling the long, raven locks from their leather strap. Black strands cascaded down his back, making the Latin man seem like some deadly, exotic animal.

  “Stop it this instant.” Dr. Polanski made her way to the pair and ordered her staff to subdue the boys. Elias lunged for the auburn-haired man, but the Irishman jumped up on the chairs and out of reach.

  “Nesto, be reasonable. You’re getting us both in trouble.”

  “You can’t run from me, McKenna.” Nesto lunged after him, evading another staff member’s grasp. Flynn began climbing over the seats one-by-one to get out of harm’s way.

  The two men chased each other around the room, destroying everything in their wake. Wanting in on the action, White’s Howlistic Healers barked and pulled on their leashes.

  “Someone get these dogs out of here!” Dr. Polanski shouted as she chased after the boys. The staff scattered, some ushering the volunteers from the room and others charging after the men.

  Every muscle in my body froze as the common area erupted into chaos. What the hell was this place, some kind of circus? I pulled my knees closer to my chest and tried to blend into the wallpaper. Everything was happening so fast. I didn’t know where to look, what to do. I felt as if I was watching some horrific movie in slow motion.

  A shadow fell over my body. “Come with me, before you get hurt.”

  I looked up with wide eyes at the man before me. I had never seen him before, but there was a confidence in his features that was a balm on my frazzled nerves. He was tall, about six feet, with latte-colored hair that hung in soft layers around his face. He looked young enough to be a patient but sane enough to be a staff member. Instinct told me to trust him, but my emotions had steered me wrong before.

  I glanced down to look for a hospital badge and got an eyeful of male perfection. A plain, navy polo had been pulled tight against his lean chest. The Howlistic Healer emblem marked his left shoulder. He was too thin to be called muscular, but perfectly-formed nonetheless. Broad shoulders rolled into a ripped chest and flat abs. His skin was pale, except for traces of dark ink that peeked out from underneath the right sleeve of his shirt.

  A tattoo. I had known some people at college who had sported tattoos, but none of them interested me as much as this one. I wanted to lift up his shirt and peek at the intricate design, perhaps trace it with my fingers and see where it ended. Did it stop at his shoulder? His chest? His abs?

  His grunt of impatience snapped me out of my fantasy. “Come on, beautiful.” He wiggled his fingers, drawing my attention to his outstretched palm. “It’s time to go.”

  I looked up and raised my brows in silent question. It had been a long time since I had trusted anyone and, despite my initial reaction, I was hesitant to trust this man now. He worked for Howlistic Healers, after all. My parents owned that organization. Did they own him?

  “Don’t worry—you’ll be safe with me.” He smiled, which seemed to light up his entire face. God, the man was gorgeous. He seemed so sure of himself.

  Would I really be safe, though? If this guy was working for Howlistic Healers, then he was working for my parents. I had firsthand experience with my mother’s manipulation. I wouldn’t put it past her to put spies in this place to check up on me. One bad headline about my hospital stay and she’d risk losing funding for her Howlistic Healers program. Her influence in Washington would diminish, and then what? Then she might have to face reality and admit to how she fucked up her daughter.

  “For Christ’s sake, McCray, get this Latin reject off me!” Flynn leapt off the chairs and wove around the ping-pong table like a giant, red wolf.

  The man before me glanced over his shoulder. “God damn it, Flynn. You certainly know how to put on a show.”

  “I swear to God, Jayden, if you help that thieving redneck, I’ll kill you both.” The anger in Latino’s eyes convinced me that he’d make good on his threat.

  Jayden turned back to me. “Come on, beautiful—we have to go.”

  I didn’t move. I couldn’t. What if he was my mother’s spy? What if my parents were using him to try to manipulate me?

  Jayden sighed. “Okay, then. Just remember, you gave me no other choice.” He pinched his lips into a thin line, crouched low and slipped his arms under me. Before I could process what was going on, my body rose up into the air.

  On impulse, I grabbed his shoulders and noticed how firm they were. Not an ounce of fat on them. Did he work out? An image of him lifting weights flashed through my mind and caused a tingling in my lower abdomen.

  Jayden turned to face the threat. Flynn moved between the small tables and folding chairs with amazing agility for his size. Nesto wasn’t so careful. He shoved tables and chairs aside as he followed in the Irishman’s wake.

  “Move out of the way, McCray.” Flynn turned and headed straight for us. I tensed as he closed the distance quickly, waving his arms in the air.

  “Why does everything have to be a fucking show?” Jayden murmured. I made a small, strangled noise and clung to his shoulders as he l
eapt to the side and hurried through the stunned crowd toward the exit.

  The Irishman man sprinted toward where we were standing moments ago. The world seemed to move in slow motion. Patients gasped. Dr. Polanski was closing the distance between her and Flynn, but I knew that she was too far away to reach him in time.

  We all watched as the auburn-haired man jumped up onto the bench where I was sitting moments ago. Within seconds, he placed his foot on the windowsill and pushed off, flipping in the air and landing back on the floor a few paces from the wall. It was so graceful and amazing, like an elaborate stunt in the movies. He loped away from the wall and followed in our wake.

  The dark-haired man wasn’t so lucky. He was moving too quick, running too hard. He tried to pull back, but it was too late. An ear-piercing crack echoed through the room as Nesto hit the bench full-force. Pieces of wood flew everywhere as he collapsed on the floor.

  Elias tackled Flynn to the floor and secured his arms behind his back. Dr. Polanski fell beside Nesto and began shouting orders.

  “Harris, Johnson. Get over here and help me.”

  Two male staff members rushed over and grabbed the Latin man’s arms. Nesto shoved them away and stood. There was a small scuffle and Nesto’s cry of frustration filled the common area.

  “Give him point-five milligrams of Lorazepam…” The doctor shouted at the staff members as they dragged Nesto from the room. The Irishman and Elias followed in their wake.

  The crash snapped the other patients out of their spell. Some shouted, others cried. One man crawled under a folding chair while a woman curled herself into a ball and rocked with a far-away stare. The big, burly man stood in the middle of the chaos, snarling and staring at me with those wild eyes as Jayden took me farther and farther away from the chaos.

  White’s Howlistic Healers and their volunteers had all vanished—all except for Jayden. He didn’t seem to notice.

  I wanted to stay and see what was going to happen to the auburn-haired man and his dark opponent, but my movements were not my own. My rescuer swept me out into the hall, away from the noise and chaos. He moved in the opposite direction from the reception area and visitor center, where the other volunteers were most likely gathering. Instead he moved toward the residence halls. Aseptic walls and shiny metal doors sped past my vision as Jayden took me away from the crowd and closer to…what?

  Who was this Jayden guy, and where the hell was he taking me?

  Chapter Two

  It was a full minute before my mind unfroze enough so I could tap my hero on the shoulder.

  Jayden’s footsteps slowed, and the hallway began to look familiar. As my heartbeat quieted, his scent—coffee and a hint of vanilla—filled my nose. I closed my eyes and inhaled the wonderful aroma. It reminded me of the little café Bethany, Mia and I hung out in on campus. I could almost see that purple-haired woman behind the counter, sneering at my coffee order. Black? Who drinks their coffee black?

  Jayden stopped at my room and shifted me in his arms. After a little fumbling with the handle, he opened the door and swept me inside. The room held two simple twin beds, two cushioned chairs and two dressers. There was a window on the far wall, but no curtains. A similar paisley pattern from the common area decorated the comforter and chair. Otherwise, the walls and floor were the same in my room as in the hall—clean, sterile and rather depressing.

  Jayden kicked the door to my room closed and leaned back against the metal surface. “Are you all right?”

  Was I? It had been so long since anyone had asked me that question. I wasn’t quite sure how to answer.

  Instead of speaking, I curled up inside the safety of Jayden’s arms and buried my head in his chest. Perhaps, if I held tight enough, he’d ground me in the present and make all the ghosts of my past fade away.

  “Lucy?” He tightened his grip around my body, as if he needed to hold me as much as I needed to be held.

  I nodded as a lump formed in my throat. How did he learn my name? Or where my room was? It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he was here. I was safe.

  “Good.” He closed his eyes. “Good.”

  It was in that moment that I realized we were alone. I blinked around at my surroundings, feeling a little uneasy. Unlike the other rooms in the hospital, mine had no pictures, no posters, nothing that would differentiate my room from anyone else’s. Even the bed next to mine was empty. The hospital was under-capacity and the staff didn’t have a roommate for me yet. I wasn’t allowed most things other patients had because I was still considered a suicide risk.

  Would Jayden notice how bleak everything looked and realize that I was a suicidal? Would he care? He was from the outside, after all. Being with someone who was so depressed might freak him out. The thought of explaining my drab surroundings caused a hole to form in the pit of my stomach.

  He popped one eye open and looked at me, assessing. “You could’ve gotten hurt pretty bad back there, you know. Promise me that the next time a fight breaks, you’ll get out of the room.”

  It was odd to have someone show so much concern for my well-being. It felt kind of…nice. I leaned back and blinked up at his bright, blue eyes, suddenly hyper-aware of our closeness. Not only did his scent calm my frazzled nerves, but the feel of his hard body pressed up against mine made me warm all over. As my skin heated, something fluttered inside my lower abdomen, and the hollow feeling inside started to recede.

  I nodded my promise. He closed his eyes and exhaled. Tension left his shoulders as he squeezed my body closer to his.

  “Thank you.” He closed his eyes and let out a long breath.

  Part of me knew that it was a little odd to have him still hold me. The danger had passed and we were alone. I wasn’t a tiny girl. It couldn’t have been easy for him to hold my weight for so long. Yet he made no move to put me down, and I was reluctant to have him let me go. It felt nice being cradled in his arms. Safe.

  I traced his profile with my gaze. Jayden was gorgeous in a guy-next-door sort of way. Thick hair fell in soft layers across his temples. He had day-old scruff along his jaw and wore a small stud earring in one ear. All of that paled in comparison to the long scar on his temple, however. His hair covered most of it. If I wasn’t so close to him, I never would have seen it. It was…fascinating. I wanted to reach out and touch it, but was afraid that my movement might break the quiet comfort that surrounded us.

  He opened his eyes. I jerked back from his gaze like a kid with her hand caught in the cookie jar.

  Something indefinable flashed through his features as he straightened. “Oh shit, I’m sorry.”

  He lowered my body, inching it down over his rock-hard abs until my feet hit the floor. He felt good rubbing up next to my skin, too good. I stood there, gripping his shoulders, not quite ready to let him go.

  “I shouldn’t be here. It isn’t allowed,” he murmured more to himself than to me.

  I held my body still and willed him to stay. He was right, of course. The boys’ and girls’ bedrooms were in separate halls. They were strictly off limits to the opposite sex. Visitors weren’t allowed back here at all. They were kept in the common rooms and the waiting areas downstairs.

  He was a visitor. That explained why he was so full of life. He wasn’t confined in this hell hole. Jayden was free and working for my mother. Why was it so hard for me to remember that? I had to try, however. If my mother thought that she could manipulate me from outside the hospital, then she was mistaken.

  I started to pull away, but his grip tightened and held me in place. He ran his fingers along my cheek as he met my gaze. “Things will calm down soon and they’ll be checking rooms to make sure people are safe.” He shifted his gaze to my lips. “We’ll both get in trouble if they find me here.”

  No kidding. Yet, despite knowing this, despite knowing that he worked for my parents, I didn’t want him to go. Heat slid down through my center and settled between my thighs. I slipped my fingers along his neck and became aware of how the bulg
e in his jeans pressed up against my lower abdomen.

  He inhaled a ragged breath and moistened his lips. “Don’t leave this room until the staff has things under control, okay?”

  I nodded, unable to speak. Tension crackled between us. It was odd, this instant connection. I was probably feeling the after-shock of the near-death experience in the common area. Still, there was something genuine about Jayden, something different from the other patients and staff in this place. It lowered my defenses and made me want to be genuine, too.

  My heartbeat quickened as he lowered his hand and wrapped it around my waist. For the first time in a long time, I felt alive, really alive.

  He moved his fingers along my lower back, stimulating my skin until my whole body melted against him. “I mean it, Lucy. Both Flynn and Nesto have good hearts, but that won’t prevent them from hurting you if you get in the way.”

  Hearing him say my name felt like a caress. What he did back in the common area was heroic and sexy-as-hell. I could really use a hero in my life, someone to purge the past and save me from my private hell.

  “This is serious.” Jayden gripped my upper arms and eased me away from his chest. He steeled his jaw for a moment, then relaxed his grip. “You don’t know how it works around here, do you?”

  Works around here? I stared at him, uncomprehending. Wasn’t he a volunteer, an outsider? How did he know the rules in a place like this? Unless all volunteers were given some sort of training session before interacting with the patients. Then again, Nesto and Flynn seemed to know him. Perhaps he was a regular volunteer at the hospital and Howlistic Healers was just a side gig.

  Damn it, everything was happening so fast. I couldn’t think. Who was this guy standing in my room, and why did he seem to care what happened to me? I wasn’t the type of person someone cared about. He had to have some ulterior motive, but what?

  Jayden made a low, frustrated noise and began to pace. He ticked off rules on his fingers as he walked. “The point system. The Confinement Ward. Sedation Therapy.” He stopped and raised his brows. “Is any of this familiar?”