Hollow (Perfect Little Pieces) Page 14

  The reception desk came into view, and my steps slowed as the grinning faces of the other patients shook my hand.

  “Say ‘hi’ to him for me,” Flynn said as he grabbed my fingers in an iron-like grip. “Tell that knucklehead not to be a stranger, okay?” He stepped back and shoved his hands in his jeans. “You don’t be a stranger, either.”

  I smiled and realized that my affection for him was genuine. Not only did Flynn help Jayden with his own recovery, but he helped me. I just hoped that, someday, Flynn would be able to overcome his own demons and find happiness.

  “Of course we won’t be strangers.” I tapped him playfully on the biceps. “Besides, if you ever want to get a message to us, you can just talk to Mia.”

  “Yeah, well…” He ran his hand over the back of his neck and took a step back. “I don’t think she likes me very much. I wasn’t exactly easy on her during her training. She hasn’t exactly forgiven me for it.”

  “Of course she’s forgiven you. Don’t be silly” It would take a lot for Mia to not like someone. It just wasn’t in her nature. Besides, I had seen how she checked out Flynn’s ass when she thought no one was looking. “You’ll be fine, I promise.”

  “Thanks.” He glanced over at Iris, then at the Elias at the front desk. I knew that he didn’t quite believe me.

  “Hey.” I rubbed my hand on his arm. “We won’t let you waste away in here. I promise.”

  He lowered his hand. “Bye, Lucy. Iris.” He pressed his lips together in a thin line and turned his back, but not before I saw the tears in his eyes. There was something going on that I wasn’t aware of, I was sure of it. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do to help him. Flynn had to figure things out on his own. We all did.

  I moved forward, shaking hands and saying my goodbyes to the rest of the patients until I stopped, stunned at the front desk.

  “Nesto.”

  He shifted his stance and looked down at his feet. “Yeah, they let me come back this morning.” He knocked on his temple. “Hard head and all that.”

  Nesto was in and out of Confinement more often than anyone else in the ward. How the man coped with spending so much time locked up and alone was beyond me. I couldn’t help but grin as I walked over and gave him a big hug. “I’m so happy for you.”

  He stiffened at the close contact and then slowly put his arms around me. His grip was light and unsure, but I didn’t care.

  Tears stung my eyes as I leaned back and met his gaze. “Promise me that you’ll stay out of Confinement for good this time.”

  He smirked. “You know me. I don’t make promises.” He shifted his gaze over my shoulder at Iris. “But I’ll try.”

  “That’s all I ask.”

  I turned away from Nesto to face Elias and took his outstretched hand.

  “It’s good to see you well again, Ms. White.”

  “Lucy,” I corrected him. “After all we’ve been through together. You can call me Lucy.”

  He grinned and nodded. “Lucy.”

  It suddenly struck me how young Elias looked. For some reason, I had always associated him with Dr. Polanski and therefore thought of him as at least a decade older than me. His grin lightened his features. He looked less troubled, less stressed. In the bright hospital lighting, I realized that he was much closer to my own age, barely an adult himself.

  “You and Jayden are the first patients I was able to see walk out of this place,” he said. “Don’t take this the wrong way or anything, but don’t come back.”

  I laughed and gave him a hug. “I won’t. I promise. At least, not as a patient.”

  “Good.” He patted my back and stepped to the side. I turned to Iris. “Well, I guess this is it, then.”

  She nodded. The movement caused her hair to fall in front of her face. “This is it.”

  I moved over to give her a hug. She had been working on touching others for months and the fact that she now let me hug her was a huge breakthrough. It showed just how close we had become, and how much she trusted me.

  “Stay safe,” I whispered in her ear.

  She squeezed my shoulders with surprising tightness and nodded. When she moved away, I noticed tears in her eyes. She wiped them away with the back of her hand.

  “I’ll visit, I promise,” I said.

  Iris pressed her lips together in a half-smile and glanced over my shoulder. Then she shrunk back, as if stung.

  “I have to go. Take care.” She hurried down the hall before I could respond.

  I turned and saw Nesto leaning against the front desk, staring openly at her retreating form. I slapped him on the arm. “Don’t scare the other patients.”

  He jerked back and blinked at me. “I wasn’t staring.”

  “Sure.” I smiled and turned back to Iris, but she had disappeared into the crowd. Why did she keep disappearing like that? Where did she go? What did she do? I didn’t know. Part of me wanted to help her, but I knew that she was beyond my abilities. She was in the best place possible for her recovery. It was out of my hands.

  I grabbed my duffle and gave my new friends one last wave. Squaring my shoulders, I walked through the doors of Newton Heights Psychiatric Hospital a free woman.

  Dr. Polanski was the first to greet me in a huge hug. “I knew you could do it.”

  I hugged her tightly and closed my eyes. “Thank you,” I whispered.

  She sniffed and stepped back. “Take care of yourself.”

  “You, too.”

  She moved away, revealing a shiny new mustang convertible. Mia stood by the passenger’s side door, grinning from ear to ear. I laughed as she ran up and gave me a bear hug. “Don’t get too excited–it’s only a rental. But we’d thought you’d want to ride away from this depressing place in style.”

  I let out a bark of laughter and squeezed her shoulders. “It’s perfect.”

  Mia pressed her lips to my temple and stood back. “I’m so happy for you.”

  “I’m happy for you, too,” I said and realized I meant it. “I’m sorry I was such a pill these past couple of months.” Our relationship had been rocky for a while, but it was getting better. Someday, I hoped that we could be best friends once more.

  Mia shook her head, her long, blonde hair shaking around her shoulders. “No, you could never be a pill.” She turned toward the door to the hospital. “I have to start my shift, but we’ll meet up for dinner, okay? I want to hear everything about your first day of freedom.”

  “You got it.”

  Mia moved away, and I turned back to the car. It was then that I saw him.

  Jayden was leaning against the Mustang, sunglasses on and arms crossed over his chest. Sunlight cast down on his sandy locks, highlighting the golden highlights. He smiled at me and my heart skipped a beat. Damn, he looked sexy as hell.

  I walked slowly forward, savoring both him and the moment with each step. When I closed the distance between us, I fell into his arms. “I thought this day would never come.”

  “Me neither,” he whispered as he buried his face in my hair. “How are you feeling?”

  “Good.” I leaned back and met his gaze. “Better, now that you’re here.” And I was. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel the hollowness inside my chest. Instead I felt peace and acceptance. Part of me was actually hopeful about the future.

  I’d always be thankful to Jayden for that. He had shown me what it was like to live. He had given me that spark for life, cultivated it, but in the end knew that if I was ever to make it on my own, I had to find that love of life within myself.

  His leaving was hard on both of us, but necessary. The time apart allowed me to focus on my own recovery. Knowing what was waiting for me outside of the hospital gave me the determination to see the painful process through.

  It would never be over. Jayden and I would always have the ghosts of our pasts to deal with, but at least we didn’t have to deal with them alone. Not anymore.

  He leaned over and brushed his lips against mine. I
closed my eyes and pressed my body closer to his, eager for his warmth.

  “Come on, let’s get out of here,” he said as he pulled away. He opened up the passenger side door to the Mustang and stood to one side.

  I climbed in, thoroughly enjoying the feel of the soft leather seats. He closed the door and walked around to the driver’s side door.

  “So beautiful, where do you want to go?” He asked as he got in and turned on the ignition. The engine roared to life, causing me to smile.

  I ran my fingers of the smooth seat and glanced over at his grinning face. “Anywhere there’s ice cream,” I said, remembering our adventure to the hospital cafeteria. “I’d do anything for a decent ice cream cone.”

  He slid his sunglasses to the top of his head and raised his brows. “Anything?”

  I laughed, one of those full-body laughs that started in my belly and spread through my limbs. It felt good, real good. “You bet—anything.”

  “Well then, we better get the girl some ice cream, stat.” He pulled the car into gear and turned out of the hospital parking lot. The wind picked up as he accelerated, catching my hair and fanning it out at all angles from my head. I felt wonderful, as if a thousand different colors were rushing through my veins. It was exhilarating.

  I grabbed Jayden’s hand and grinned. Life was good, real good. I knew that the hollowness of depression would always be there, waiting for me to show a sign of weakness so it could take control. Today, the hollow feeling in my chest was gone, however. I had the darkness beat.

  Jayden raised our joined hands and whooped as we raced away from the hospital. My voice soon joined his, shouting my victory over death and despair.

  For the first time in a long time, it felt damn good to be alive.

  ~~The End~~

  Biography

  At fourteen, Ava snuck her first romance novel into bed and read it by flashlight. There she met her first "book boyfriend" and has been hooked on reading ever since. She often prefers book-boyfriends to the real thing, and believes that a gooey, fudge brownie is a little piece of heaven on earth. When she’s not writing, she’s stumbling through her Zumba class (have to work off those brownies somehow), obsessing over the latest PINK song, or feeding her addiction for reality television. Learn about her latest adventures at www.AvaConway.com

  Note: Ava also writes more sensual romances for her over-eighteen fans as Suzanne Rock. See her kinkier side at www.SuzanneRock.com.

  Extras…

  Interested in learning more about the patients at

  Newton Heights Psychiatric Hospital? You’re in luck!

  Check out my website for the playlist I used when creating Hollow.

  Look for Torn, Flynn’s story, coming in the summer of 2013.

  Also, watch for Shattered, Nesto’s story coming in the fall of 2013.

  Depending on reader response, there might be a short novella this summer involving Carter and Rose. If interested in learning more about them, be sure to drop me a line on social media or by email--let me know!

  Looking for another New Adult Series to read?

  Check out the Safe Haven series by Kate Laurens.

  The first book, “Love Me For Me,” is a real page turner. Trust me!

  Here’s an excerpt:

  “I’m going to go say hi to Joel.” Joel was Kaylee’s on-again, off-again boyfriend, and they were still friends. “Okay? You’ll be okay?”

  I felt myself begin to tense up, but fought to control it. I’d done the hard part—I was here. I had a drink in my hand.

  I wasn’t going to latch on to Kaylee and ruin her good time.

  I smiled, a curve of the lips that was at least half genuine. “Go!” I didn’t recognize the song that was playing, but I did know that it was loud. “I’ll be right here.” And then she was off, shimmying across the dance floor in her little purple dress, drawing attention with her long fall of red hair, her equally long legs, and her mile wide smile.

  I stayed where I was, taking cautious sips from my cup, and wondered. Wondered what it would be like to be that carefree, that able to let go and have fun.

  From the corner of my eye I saw Kaylee waving at me frantically. I frowned, not sure what she was trying to communicate with her flailing arms, eye winks, and wide grin.

  Then I felt the heat behind me, and I suddenly knew.

  “Hey.” The voice was low, and I felt the warmth of it against my ear. I thought that I would tense, but I knew it was him before I turned, having played that voice over and over in my head for the last week.

  “American Lit Girl.” He smiled at me, that delicious wide smile on that chiseled face, and I felt something fluttery begin to move in the depths of my belly.

  “I have a name, you know.” I lifted my cup for another small sip, though I didn’t actually want it. “Not that you asked for it.”

  I flushed as soon as I’d spoken, wondering how on earth I’d gotten so bold. But he laughed, then pried the cup out of my fingers.

  “I didn’t ask, Serena, because I already know it.” He leaned in to say this, close to my ear so that he could be heard without shouting.

  A tremor ran through me.

  “Why do you know my name?” Why had he even noticed me? No one noticed me, not anymore.

  He arched his eyebrows at me. “I paid attention. Should I be hurt that you haven’t asked for mine?” I must have looked stricken, because he caught my hand in his and squeezed.

  “I’m Alex.” He didn’t let go of my fingers, and I was acutely aware of the heat pulsing from his into mine.

  “Um. Hi.” I wanted to smack myself. I was so socially inept. Kaylee had gotten all the charm in our dorm room.

  "You don't want to drink that. Trust me." He took the cup from my hand and set it on a nearby table. He had to lean in close for me to hear him, and when he did I smelled shaving foam, soap, and the faintest hint of cologne.

  "Maybe I wanted it." The flash of irritation I felt was burned away in a blast of heat when his eyes strayed to my breasts, outlined in the fitted tank top. He did it so quickly that I almost missed it... and rather than being offended I felt myself responding, licking my suddenly dry lips.

  The feeling I'd had when we'd studied at Daily Grind... I was right. He was attracted to me.

  There was no question that I felt the same way.

  "That's almost pure booze. You drink that entire cup and you won't even remember your own name." His stare was so intense that my mouth went dry. I ran my tongue over my lips to moisten it, and his eyes followed the gesture.

  "It doesn't taste like booze. It tastes like sugar." The artificial sweetness still coated my tongue.

  "It's vodka with an insane amount of juice crystals. It's mixed with the specific purpose of getting girls drunk." He raised an eyebrow at me. "You didn't think it was that strong, did you? This frat has it down to a science."

  "Oh." I should have been more concerned about the fact that I'd been sips away from losing control, but when he looked at me like that, I couldn't think.

  "Dance?" Startled by the request, I looked quickly over at Kaylee. She was giving me a very unsubtle thumbs up, and with only that to bolster my courage, I nodded before I could over think it.

  Lacing his fingers through mine, he led me through the crush of people dancing to a song that seemed to be an ode to the plastic cups that everyone was drinking from.

  He smiled at me when we found a space and he turned to face me. He kept his hold on my hand, but his other came to rest gently on the indentation of my waist. I had to swallow my gasp at the light press on my skin.

  I'd been touched plenty, but never like this.

  When he pressed those fingers into the dip of my waist a bit more firmly, I realized that I'd been standing still. I looked up at him wide eyed, feeling like a fish out of water.

  The intensity in those navy eyes of his was my undoing. Squeezing my eyes shut, I let him lead me in a gentle sway as the upbeat song faded into something slower, with lyri
cs about loving someone until they learned to love themselves.

  My pulse began to trip, pounding at the base of my throat, at my wrists.

  Though his hands stayed on me, he didn't move any closer, didn't try to grind his pelvis into my own like so many of the others were doing. The fact that he didn't was more seductive than if he had. I soon forgot about trying to imitate the way the others danced, and moved the way he led me to. I was painfully aware of the thin ribbon of space between us, of the fact that one deep breath would bring the tips of my breasts against the solid muscles of his chest.

  Not sure what to do with my free hand, I moved it into that sliver of room between us, splaying my fingers over his chest. He tensed beneath my fingers, and I looked up to find his eyes heavily lidded, his lips slightly parted.

  What was going on with me? Something about this boy made me feel things I’d never thought I’d want.

  The look told me that he wanted to kiss me. It told me that he wanted to do more. I felt the space between my legs dampened. For the first time in years, I wanted the same thing, wanted it for the right reasons.

  I worried my lower lip with my teeth, and his eyes followed the movement. Swallowing hard, I tilted my chin up and angled my head, leaving myself open for a kiss that I found I desperately wanted.

  It didn't come. Warily, I looked through my lashes. His expression matched how I felt, tight with inexplicable need. But though he released my fingers to splay his hand over my spine, and my free hand landed on his hard, wide shoulder, he didn't make a move to press his lips to mine.

  The hand on my back began to move, slowly, lazily, tracing the angel wings of my shoulder blades, the curve of my spine. Everywhere his fingers trailed, I blazed with heat. Something hot and needy was coiling deep in my belly, something I'd never felt before and that I didn't know what to do with.